The Juiced Line

Posted: Sat, Jul 18, 2020
Last updated: Sun, Oct 18, 2020

Mixxd Punch

Strong artificial cherry taste. Tastes very American. Hard to get through but not necessarily a bad tasting drink. C tier.

Pipeline Punch

Muted tropical? I’m fighting with myself to not look at the Monster site and see what this is actually meant to taste like. I feel like I’ve drank this flavour in 5 different cans now. Just for that, C tier.

Oh, and I checked the site. Passion fruit, orange, and guava (so, yeah, another tropical flavour).

Pacific Punch

Standard tropical flavour with a twist of grapefruit, it tastes like. Edgy can design, reminds me of that Ed Hardy shit that was all the rage in middle school. Starts to taste very much like Red Dawn, one of the flavours in the Mutant range. I checked their site and they didn’t mention any of the flavours in the can, so fuck knows what’s in it. C tier.

Mango Loco

Gorgeous for the first few gulps before it becomes stale and unenjoyable. Whenever I feel like shaking it up a bit I reach for a Mango Loco (I’m in the UK… the choice is piss poor here) and I regret it every single time!! C tier.


Not too fizzy, this is a… gentle (??) drink that reminds me of Mango Loco. In fact, this just tastes like Mango Loco that’s had a bunch of water mixed in to make it go further. It’s nice, sure, but I don’t see myself ever willingly reaching for another can. C tier.


Okay so like… this can says “juice” and not “juiced”. I don’t know if that’s intentional or not??

But anyway… it has a slight fizz, a smooth orange flavour, and it’s easy to drink. It’s 30% juice - that means it’s healthy, right? It’s like orange-flavour Lucozade Sport but punchier. Tastes super similar to Ultra Sunrise. B tier.